Grateful

School is kind of a total drag. I mostly just sit around learning stuff, and then doing homework and studying for tests. I get that it'll have some future purpose for getting a job down the road, but right now, it isn't the most enjoyable thing I could be doing. The food in the cafeteria is alright. It could be better for sure, and it is expensive. All of college is expensive. I can't believe how much they expect us to pay. Like I'm going to have to actually take money out of my earnings after college to pay my debt. I won't be able to keep it all for myself to buy the things that I actually want. The showers are too small. My room smells weird. There are chips in the paint. Sometimes the ink in my pen smudges. My bed is a little bit squeaky. The light in my room is kind of dim. My life is so hard. There are so many things that aren't perfectly how I want them...
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Percentage population living on less that $1 a day

At least 80% of humanity lives on less than $10 a day.
The average American lives on about $100 a day.
$40 can give a child food, water, healthcare, and education for a month (worldvision.org)
1 billion children in the world live in poverty.
More than one in six people worldwide don't have access to improved water sources.
925 million live with scarcity of food


I dare you. 

Complain about how terrible life is. Complain that your cell phone isn't what you want. Complain that your computer is slow. Complain that you have homework. Complain that your friends can't hang out. Complain that you have food, Complain that you aren't terminally ill. Complain that you have a bed to sleep in. Complain that you can step outside without thinking that you could be killed this very day.

Go ahead. Do it.

It should sicken you. 

And I'm not saying that I'm above any of this, by any means. At times, I do see myself looking at my life and saying things aren't exactly how I want them. But what right do we have to say any of this?! We have a God who gives us more than any of that could be worth, Who gives us something that no one can take away, and yet still we cling on to such petty, disposable ideas about what we are entitled to. We have all we need. There is nothing that could be better in our lives than giving up our pursuits of worldly things and fixing our eyes on what matters.


I searched "what does poverty look like" and this is what I found (compassion.com)


"But let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you" (Psalm 5:11). Moises, from Nicaragua, hugs his mother, Guadelupe.


"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy" (Psalm 30:11). Priya is involved in the Child Survival Program.


"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you — I, whom you have redeemed" (Psalm 71:23). Diane, from Rwanda, leans against her mother. Diane's father died of AIDS.


Surely if there are people living in such dire conditions who still praise the Lord and find their joy in Him rather than what they have, we can do the same. We have no reason why we should not be grateful from the depths of our hearts all the time for what He gives us that we do not deserve.

Stranger Danger

Why do rough and though sound so different when they have the same last four letters?

So I noticed a few things in life that are extremely awkward:
1. When someone you're eavesdropping on says something really funny
2. When you're walking toward someone and you both know you're going to say hi to each other, but you're   too far away to say it yet, so you just avert your gaze until they're within greeting range and then act surprised to see them
3. Here at MSU, there are a lot of places that have two sets of doors in a row. So when someone holds the first door, you say thank you, and then when you get to the second door, its more like just like an incomprehensible mumble that resembles thanks because you clearly can't thank them twice in a row for the same thing.

This brings me to another thought. One day, I was walking toward the door and saw someone else walking in from the other side. So like any reasonable person, I opened the door for him and let him walk through first. But then, I got no eye contact, no nod of appreciation, and no thanks for my efforts. I immediately wrote him off as a jerk and was somewhat annoyed by his lack of manners. Later, however, I realized that I had been opening doors so that I would receive thanks, not solely to serve others. Its good to check or motivations in doing things, so that we may do them with a right heart.

So this semester has been a little more difficult than the last one. I actually have to do homework in my math classes which is somewhat of a foreign concept as the homework in my math classes for the past few years has been optional. Hopefully this will help me learn better though. I'm surprised by how much of the grades are determined by tests. This makes the classes a lot more stressful, but still manageable. I didn't get the psychology research assistant job I was looking at because I couldn't fit their schedule, so I applied for one in statistics, but I think I was under qualified so I don't think I got it. So its back to looking, but honestly, I'm not looking forward to actually getting a job, especially since I got accidentally paid for it last semester, so I have to work this semester for free. I just finished reading Crazy Love, a wonderful book! I highly recommend it, although its not for those who are satisfied with living in lukewarm Christianity. I'm starting The Reason for God by Timothy Keller, for which I am extremely excited. I started reading theological books this fall, and now I'm absorbed because there are so many wonderful ones!

So one thing that I've been wrestling with is meeting new people. Hands down, one of my biggest fears. Approaching people has also been a challenge for me, especially people of authority, girls, and scary people. But I don't understand quite why, especially with strangers. So suppose you're in an elevator and someone walks on, someone you've never seen before and will probably never see again. What do you do? Probably absolutely nothing. What's preventing you from growling at them, then pressing all the buttons, and running off laughing maniacally. They'll never see you again. It'd be pretty funny. But I think something in us wants their respect. Either that or we're all so absorbed in ourselves that we don't even acknowledge them. Why can't we strike up a conversation with them? It could be an opportunity to share the gospel even. Yet we never even try. I think we need to overcome our natural wiring, that aims at protecting us from the unknown, from strangers, from people who could need someone to talk to, from souls that need to be saved. I think, we all need to become more stranger friendly.

New Start

You know what's ridiculous? When people use 'literally' out of context and too often.

"Dude, she is literally the bomb!"
Sounds like a big problem on your hands.

"Oh my gosh, I literally died laughing."
Congratulations on your recent resurrection...?

So if you use it all the time, keep using it, because its funny.

Anyway, the spring semester started two days ago, although it isn't really looking like spring right now. I'm taking microeconomics, linear algebra, Chinese, and statistics. So I have a pretty decent course load, but its not unbearable. I applied for my first job ever two days ago, as a research assistant to a psychology professor doing a study on the elements of life satisfaction. Sounds like pretty interesting stuff, at least to me. I'm hoping that I will get it, but either way, I know God will work out what is best for me. I finally started a workout routine which I think will help my health immensely, because I know just sitting in my dorm all day probably isn't the most beneficial thing for me to be doing. Although it is difficult to gather the initiative to go anywhere else besides the cafeteria and class because that would involve either going somewhere I've never been or doing something I've never done. And I'm not the biggest fan of doing new things.

One thing that I really hope to change this semester is to show my positivity to those around me. In this past, I have apparently worn an expression of distaste somewhat regularly and I aim to change that, because in all honestly, I love life.

Here at college, I see some kids walking around with the same expression I expect I had, and they don't look hardcore or like they would be more likely to beat me up or anything, they just look silly. Like either they're trying too hard, or they have some serious life issues. And I don't want that to be me, so I have been making a serious effort to allow my joy that is on the inside to resonate out. One thing that I have noticed that is sad about our society is that its weird to just walk around smiling. When I see someone do it, my first thought is that they're telling themself jokes or something. Who tells themselves jokes? But I think that should be changed, and joy should become a more apparent part of the world we live in. 1 Thessalonians 5:16 - Rejoice always!